What are the social etiquette rules when you visit someone's place?

Once upon a time, the rules of etiquette when you visited someone's house were clear. 

But in an increasingly multicultural society — not to mention a more casual one — the rules have started to grey. 

For Chinese Australian Edwina Chu, some of the rules depend on who you are visiting. 

"In Chinese culture it's shoes off, as a sign of respect so that you don't dirty their home," Edwina says.

"So when I go to a western person's house I will always ask 'would you like our shoes off?'."

Edwina says there are certainly points of difference between the two cultures. 

"One thing that really stood out for me, and my parents noticed it more than I did, when you go to a function … they tell everyone to bring a plate," she says.

"In our culture … you would never tell people to bring plates of food when you're hosting."

In fact, Edwina says over-catering was the standard for hosting in Chinese culture.

"You should never, at any point, have all your dishes empty at the end of the night," she says.

Edwina says it was a culture shock for her Aussie husband. 

"I remember when my husband started coming to family dinners and gathering and the amount of food my family ordered gave him anxiety," she says.

Are you really meant to not bring anything?

You've been invited to a friend's place for dinner and they casually say "don't bring a thing". 

Are you actually supposed to rock up empty-handed?

Not really, according to Zarife Hardy, the director of the Australian School of Etiquette.

"You should take something, even if it is something very little, for the host," she says.

"If you've been invited to a say a dinner party, a barbecue, an eating event, and told 'please don't bring anything', you should bring a bottle of wine, or a box of chocolates, or it may even be just a lovely bottle of olive oil or balsamic vinegar. 

"Something that they can either use for that event or it might just slot into their cupboard and be used quite easily." 

However, if the host really stresses that they don't want ANYTHING, Zarife says a thank you note or phone call the next day, is the way to go.

Zarife says a text message, while it may be many people's go-to, doesn't cut it. 

Do you have to RSVP?

In an age where Facebook has given people the option to RSVP as a "maybe'', flaking or just not turning up, is easier than ever. 

"RSVPing is extremely important and that's an area people have become incredibly slack or lazy at doing," Zarife says.

She says it is important to remember someone has likely made a big effort to cater for you.

"I always say, put the shoe on the other foot," Zarife says.

"How do you feel when you're putting a party or a gathering together, and someone you genuinely were excited to see, just dismisses you with a very poor excuse an hour before?It's rude.

"So as soon as you receive that invite, whether it is via Facebook or email, then get back to someone with a yes or a no. 

Flaking on an event the day before, or day of, is just poor form, but if you really can't make it, Zarife says to pick up the phone and tell them — don't just send a text.

Can you turn up unannounced?

On the other hand, can you ever just rock up to someone's place unannounced?

Again, it's not recommended and it's something Paul Bermudez, from Guadalajara in Mexico, found out the hard way when he moved to Sydney.

"In Mexico it's very common all of a sudden that someone just knocks at your door and they just want to say hello," Paul says. 

"Out here you have to let them know within a week or a month. 

"I think I have done it just once and [my friend] was Australian and I think he was kind of surprised."

While he says Australians were polite, he initially found it hard to make friends, saying Aussies could be very protective of their privacy and time. 

"I have learnt to be more conscious of others and respect their time," Paul says.

Do you help clean up?

Edwina says her mother and aunties would always insist on cleaning up after a meal at the others' house. 

"My mum and aunt will fight to do the washing up," she says. 

She says it was common for everyone to wash up together, but feels it might be cultural. 

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone from Jon's family washing up together, they wait until people have left," Edwina says.

Zarife says it's always good to offer to help clean up. 

"Once everyone is finished eating and the conversation is wrapping up, you always say 'let me help you clear the table', or, 'can I put my plate in the kitchen?'. 

"If the host says 'no, please don't', you don't get into a battle about it, but you should always offer to help and tidy up."