The notion of anxious, stressed-out teenagers has become so commonplace that it is almost a modern-day stereotype.
But mental health concerns do seem to be on the rise.
So, what's behind this phenomenon and how can parents help their kids navigate the brave new world in which we now live?
We can't avoid talking about screen time
The biggest generational shift facing teens today is the rise of digital media and portable technology. Sure, this has some benefits. But it has also created problems that were not faced by generations before.
First, there has been more opportunity for teens to compare themselves to their peers than ever before.
Where once the other kids in our year level at school were our points of comparison, teens today are now able to compare themselves to an unlimited number of peers and models via social media.
Which brings us to the second problem
This "virtual", rather than real-life comparison, means teens are subjecting themselves to an unfair, skewed comparison that is inevitably going to make them feel inadequate. Because what we see on social media is not an accurate reflection of real life.
Not of bodies, popularity, achievement, lifestyle, or mood.
Never before have young people been so able to curate a highly selective, desirable — and inaccurate — version of themselves, and put it out into the world for others to publicly view and judge.
As a result, there is a groundswell of perfectionism occurring.
Unrealistic standards for what we and our lives should look and feel like, combined with the relentless striving to achieve these impossible goals, is a recipe for anxiety and other problems.
Pressure to perform overflows into academic and sporting pursuits and self-judgement (not to mention public scrutiny) abounds.
Parents have been understandably confounded by this shift, as they instinctively move to protect their kids from this nebulous mix of technology combined with the age-old striving that teens naturally have to conform and to fit in.
Why perfectionism is a problem
The irony of perfectionism is that when it gets too strong, it gets in the way of achievement: it manifests as taking too long, avoiding and procrastinating, and a fear of taking risks.
A perfectionist always wants to feel comfortable and in control, they see mistakes and failures as terrible, and their self-worth is attached to the outcome of their striving, whether that be their grades at school, performance on the sporting field, or their shape and weight.
Disappointments, mistakes and losses are natural occurrences in a normal, healthy adolescence.
But to the perfectionist teen, these inevitable experiences are at best distressing, and at worst are disasters that strike at the heart of their sense of self-worth.
Is your parenting style making your child anxious?
Perfectionism is a hidden enemy, because it masquerades as diligence.
High standards and striving to achieve are usually viewed by society, schools, and parents as a badge of honour; something to be celebrated.
Well-meaning parents can therefore inadvertently reinforce and reward this striving, even when it reaches an unhealthy state.
Often parents are aware of the pressure associated with this hyper-competitive, image-focused world, but are not sure what to do about it.
Their natural urge is to protect, help, and solve problems on their child's behalf.
Or they join in the striving efforts and become over-involved in supporting their child to help them reach their goals.
This is born out of love and good intentions.
But when parents do too much to help their kids, they actually inhibit that child's healthy psychological development.
What parents can do to help
There is a truism in modern psychology that what you focus on, you amplify in your awareness.
By choosing to focus on effort and learning, rather than outcomes, parents provide the implicit message that the outcome isn't everything.
Effort is within our control and learning is always an available benefit regardless of whether we succeed or fail.
By creating a balanced life with a focus on personal relationships, non-achievement tasks and having fun for fun's sake, parents can broaden their child's sense of self-worth.
There are many things that make somebody a worthwhile person, and if we don't have all our eggs in one basket (grades, appearance, popularity), then we are relatively unaffected if one domain of life isn't travelling quite as we'd like.
Limit time on devices and social media. Less time in the image-focussed world of selfies and like-seeking provides space to be imperfect, engaged and accepted in the real world.
The real meaning of tough love
Normalise difficulty, discomfort, and mistakes.
Kids are naturally protected from anxiety when they cultivate a willingness to engage in challenges, learn to be comfortable with a little discomfort, and see failure as feedback rather than disaster.
This is the sweet spot of parenting psychologically robust kids: the freedom to be driven and to take on challenges in an anti-perfectionist way, with parents who support and encourage without rescuing, getting over-involved, or avoiding difficult things.
Dr Tom Nehmy is a clinical psychologist.