Sorting 'red flags' from run-of-the-mill chaos at a childcare centre

When Sofia's* son was two, she decided to pull him out of his childcare centre.

She'd harboured niggling concerns about the centre's level of care for more than a year. The educators often forgot to apply sunscreen when the kids played outside on sunny days.

"Or I'd go to pick my son up on a warm March day and he still had his jumper on — it's as if no-one had thought to take it off," Sofia from Werribee in Victoria says.

The final straw came when the educators rebuffed her suggestion they cuddle her son if he became distressed during morning drop-offs.

"They were giving almost a tough love approach," Sofia recalls.

"It appeared like the new staff didn't actually have a passion to work with children, or know their needs."

Sofia has now enrolled her son in another centre, where he's happy and thriving.

Her one regret? Not switching her son's childcare arrangements earlier.

Not sure what quality care looks like? Ratings can help

For parents sending their kids to childcare for the first time, it can be difficult to know what a quality service looks like.

"As a first-time mum I wasn't as confident in myself and knowing what was normal, or standing up for myself and my child," says Sofia.

A helpful starting point? The National Quality Standard (NQS) ratings.

Each state or territory's regulatory authority is charged with assigning these ratings to long day care, family day care, kindergarten, preschool and after-school services — and they range from "significant improvement required" to "excellent".

You can check your service's rating on the Australian Children's Education and Care Quality Authority's Starting Blocks website.

Beware these red flags

Ratings aside, there are certain signs that your service isn't meeting the children's needs. (Hint: you'll need to look beyond the centre's flashy marketing to see them.)

"Let's say you go to a really fancy centre with really amazing organic food and wooden toys and huge outdoors space," says Elizabeth Seeley-Wait, a Sydney psychologist who has expertise working with children and families.

"All of that can be there, and it would be great, but the key variable that has been found is a positive relationship between your child and the carers at the centre."

A quality child care also involves familiar educators who form warm and respectful relationships with your child — so a rotating cast of casual workers isn't ideal.

"If there's not at least one person that the child is feeling connection with, and feeling really comfortable with that teacher, that's a problem," Dr Seeley-Wait says.

Educators should also be responsive to distressed or crying children, and ideally should spend time down at the children's level, engaging with them.

"There'd also be big flags for me if I heard yelling, if I felt like the teachers didn't really make eye contact with my child or me or didn't really pay much mind when we show up," adds Dr Seeley-Wait.

High-quality childcare centres also show a "balance between education and care", says Dr Patricia Eadie, director of the Research in Effective Education in Early Childhood Hub at the Melbourne Graduate School of Education.

The service should display information about its educational program, and the centre director should be able to articulate how its educational programs are linked to the Early Years Learning Framework (that's the national framework for early childhood educators), Dr Eadie adds.

"Parents should expect to see a play-based approach to learning where children have choice and freely move between a range of learning experiences they are interested and engaged in," adds a spokesman for Victoria's Department of Education and Training (DET), which is responsible for assessing childcare services in that state.

"Outdoor play, plenty of physical activity and access to a natural environment will be important," he adds.

Settling-in issues: what's normal?

What if your childcare ticks all those boxes, but your child just seems to not enjoy attending?

It's important to keep in mind that for many babies, a level of separation anxiety (typically from about eight months onwards) is normal.

The time it takes to settle in can depend on the child's temperament, says Lyn O'Grady, a community psychologist in Melbourne.

If your child's distress flares up around drop-off, it's a good idea to ask your child's educators about their morning routine.

"Part of what will settle children is predictability and a familiar face. So there are things that services can put in place, particularly around those routines, where the child feels secure even if they remain upset because Mum and Dad are leaving," says Dr Eadie.

"You can ask them, 'How do you go about that morning routine? How do you settle children?'"

If your child is intensely distressed or taking a long time to settle, and if your child's functioning is affected — perhaps your child is eating or sleeping less, or having nightmares — then the distress has moved beyond normal separation anxiety, says Dr Seeley-Wait.

In that case, you need to make sure the child feels safe — and a psychologist can be part of that process.

"We do see children in a case like that where we're seeing parents who are querying whether or not to pull their child from day care or school," says Dr Seeley-Wait.

Raising your concerns

If you witness a potentially harmful situation involving child abuse or neglect or exposing children to danger — that's a matter to be reported to the relevant state or territory regulatory authority immediately.

But in the absence of that level of urgency, speaking with the educator working with your child — or in some cases the centre director — is usually the first step. (If you're not sure who to talk to first, you can check your service's complaints handling procedure, which might have been provided to you when you enrolled your child.)

It's best to open the conversation with a curious and collaborative tone: "The starting point might be, 'Can I just check what's happening today?'" suggests Dr O'Grady.

In a quality childcare, educators "will be interested in your child and your family and how they can support your child's learning and developmental needs", the DET spokesperson says.

They should take the time to speak to you and answer your questions, although you might have to make a time for a meeting or phone call later.

Keep in mind that when raising your concerns with the centre, it's important to remain open to the educators' suggestions about what might be going on.

Is it time to cancel your child's enrolment?

Before switching your child's care arrangements, it's worth doing what you can to rule out emotional, physical or developmental problems that could be causing the distress, says Dr Seeley-Wait. That can involve seeing a child psychologist.

"You don't want to be changing every time something goes wrong," Dr O'Grady says.

She says ultimately if you've tried different strategies and your child seems unhappy, "you might want to respect the child's experience" and consider whether another child care option is appropriate.

Sometimes, the issue is "literally just with the match".

"The way your child is and the teachers or the centre just isn't the right match," Dr Seeley-Wait says.

*Names have been changed for privacy.